So, here we are, another day. Seem that they just go on and on and on. I found my ex on myspace, or more to the point, she found me. It has brought back tons of emotions, from what she did to me, to what I did to her. We played games. That wasn't right. Together, we have two beautiful little girls. Maria will turn six this year. Lori will be five. It rocks my world to know they are back in San Antonio. To think, I've missed the past four years. All because she would hide and run and be a bitch pretty much.

 Now, here I am, in a good career, in love again, engaged to be married. We want kids of our own. And my heart is torn. Not doubting how I feel about her. Not worried about where we will be in one, two, five, or ten years. It's torn because as I think of the kids I will have with her. The love I will share - I don't want it to be a replacement for my other children. I miss them, I love them. They are my world - my soul. And - the woman I'm with now is my soulmate. My lover, my best friend. I really want our family. No doubts. Not one. I basicly miss my babies. No matter how that bitch kept them from me. I looked and looked. I did everything I could. Short of doing what she did. Short of kidnapping them. I wouldn't and couldn't put her through what she had her family do to me.

I miss them so much, I swear I cry in the blood that stained my soul. I feel like I'm in a deep, black ocean of emotion, and it's killing me. Slowly. I'm getting better at dealing with it. And I'm excited to have a new life in my arms that was created from love and in a loving, true, pure relationship. But no one and nothing can replace my girls. My children.

I miss you Princess. I miss you Pixie. And daddy loves you both.